Andy and Barney were cats from the same litter – brothers whom we named after the sheriff and deputy from Mayberry. They were born together, nursed together, then adopted together to our home. They did just about everything as a pair and appeared to like each other very much. As “inside” cats, their entire world was our home. They would sit for hours gazing out the window but never knew the life of a free-roaming feline.
Their appetites were prodigious, and it seemed like they were always impatiently awaiting their next meal. We fed them the recommended amount of food, but they constantly lobbied for more. And woe be to us if we were late in providing either of their two daily meals.
Once, we took a rock-solid chicken out of the freezer, secured it in a pot with a tight-fitting lid, and left it on the counter to thaw out while we left the house for a few hours. You might be able to guess what we saw upon our return. The empty pot and lid were separated and on the floor. We found the chicken on the ground in an adjoining room. It was still mostly frozen, but its wings had been gnawed off. BAD KITTIES!
On another occasion, we went to the White House Christmas Tree lighting ceremony. That resulted in us returning home that evening a few hours later than usual. Andy and Barney were not amused by their delayed meal. As we opened the door, it looked like the house had been ransacked, with things knocked off shelves, ornaments pulled from the tree and a portable television set having been toppled from its table. There was no sign of forced entry, and we had two suspects in the house itself. Of course, they were meowing for their dinner, pushing up against us and generally ignoring the mess they had created. Despite intense questioning from us, they never confessed. We did conclude from this incident that to miss their mealtime was to place ourselves and our belongings in peril.
Then there was the time that Barney broke into a cabinet and got to their large bag of dry food. He then commenced to eat and eat and eat … apparently for an extended period. If you know anything about dry cat food, you know that when it gets wet, it expands. I am sure that it gives cats a nice feeling of fullness. However, gluttony can lead to problems – for people and for cats. Poor Barney! As his over-filled stomach of dry food expanded, he obviously started feeling the ill effects. Eventually, he just flopped down and stretched out on his side. His bloated stomach looked something like a miniature camel hump. An emergency call to the vet elicited the instructions to get some mineral oil in him, which we succeeded in doing, but not without some effort. He made it through this episode but wasn’t himself – or hungry – for a couple of days.
Given their documented propensities, and Barney’s gluttonous episode, we decided to store their bag of dry food in an unusual location. We never used our electric dishwasher, which had been left behind by our home’s previous owners. It did have a nice locking mechanism that no cat could manipulate. So, it seemed like a good storage spot for the grub. And it worked fine until we went on vacation.
Our friend Mike, was and is a cat person. He also lived nearby and was always happy to cat watch. When we would go away for a few days or longer, Mike was always up to the task of stopping by the house a couple of times a day to feed A&B, give them fresh water, attend to the litter box and to provide them with a bit of diversion. Of course, he knew about the dry food storage location and why the food was there. It worked fine – until it didn’t.
Barbara and I were away for a week in Florida, visiting her family. Mike, as usual, was taking care of the cats. Now, this happened a while ago – in the days before cell phones, and texts and emails. If you wanted to get in touch with someone from afar, you would make a long-distance telephone call and pay the going rate. Thus, we normally subscribed to the no news is good news club. Mike knew what to do, and he had a phone number to reach us in the Sunshine State if anything major happened.
We did not find out what transpired until after we returned back to Maryland. About a day into his cat watching duties, Mike had a medical emergency at work. He ended up in the hospital for a week. Despite his own serious health concerns, he was worried about his commitment to Andy and Barney. Instead of calling us in Florida, he asked his mother if she would assume his duties. Despite having never been in our home previously, Mrs. T said yes. Barbara and I were not contacted and knew nothing about Mike’s emergency.
So, Mrs. T took the house keys and instructions from Mike and began to handle the cat duties, quite an imposition considering that her only child was dealing with his own situation in the hospital. At some point while dispensing these duties something unexpected, surprising and a bit shocking happened. It was a mishap for sure.
After filling the cat bowls on one visit, Mrs. T put the large bag of dry food back into the otherwise empty dishwasher and, while locking the door shut somehow managed to turn on the wash cycle! She immediately panicked but had no idea how to stop the mini catastrophe from continuing. Thus, she stood by as the dishwasher struggled through its cycle, clogging up with the paper bag and the pounds of dry food that became drenched and then expanded into a mass of mess. Some water seeped out onto the floor, and eventually the machine ground to a halt. Although Mrs. T was relieved that the cycle had stopped, she was no doubt horrified by the unintended carnage she had created.
In the wake of this small disaster, Mrs. T contacted a plumber, who came out to clean the clogs from the dishwasher and put it back into working condition. She also bought a replacement bag of cat food and once again placed it inside. When we returned from Florida, we learned from her about Mike being in the hospital and the dishwasher adventure she had experienced, pledging us to silence. She did not tell Mike about it for several years.
The lesson learned here was pretty obvious. In retrospect, it seems like one of those common sense things that actually do not need to be taught. But, in this case, we had to be educated as follows. Do not store dry cat food inside an operational dishwasher.